I’ve been back in my judging seat this week filming a new show for CBBC called ‘Taking the Next Step’. I have been so inspired by the UK’s talented Dancers. I sit there in my high and mighty judging seat and scour the nation for the best talent there is to represent the UK when they join the cast of ‘The Next Step’ in Canada. I’m moved to tears by some of their stories and ability to tell stories through the art of dance. I see a little bit of myself in each of them and love to be in a room surrounded by others that have been inspired by dance just as I have been for over 25 years!

Given the tough job of deciphering what is great and what is amazing, I’ve realized just how much I miss the sweat of being a dancer, the feeling of freedom through movement and the escapism of getting lost in the emotions of a song and throwing those emotions into moving shapes that symbolize my past and my future all in a moment. You have to be fearless to be a performer, you have to be an athlete to dance, and you have to be willing to put everything on the line to connect the two into a dance performance.

To all dancers: My one piece of advice for you if you are thinking about being a professional dancer, don’t, unless you can’t live without it! The industry is tough and the rejection can destroy confidence but if you love to dance so much that none of that matters except getting up and doing what you love then GO FOR IT!!!

I miss it. I miss the life of being a dancer with a big dream to do shows I was inspired by. I miss being the dancer left in after battling through hundreds of other girls at a sweaty audition. I miss the excitement of working hard to get a job and waiting for the phone call and getting the most amazing feeling wash over when you hear ‘you’ve got the job’. It’s a tough life but it’s also the most rewarding victories.

I’m a different me now that I’m a married Mummy of one. I am inspired to get back into the dance studio and discover who this person is now. How this person dances. I know that might sound silly but having a baby not only changes your body, it changes the way you think. My priorities in life are different now. That will to succeed; the drives to run away from a pretty troubled past and give myself no option but making it is what made me the professional dancer I was. Now that I love my life and am content and happy my inspiration behind what moves me has changed! I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay to celebrate all these changes and I guess I really do have to be fearless to step back into a studio, put on the music and dance again.

Don’t Stop Dancing.

It’s tough to make money as a dancer. Unless you are willing to live on the road for months and months on end then the outlets to get paid are extremely limited. Where does a Mummy make a living as a dancer? A career as a dancer is in my opinion the ultimate sacrifice. Even when you make it big you sacrifice your body and your life for the love of the stage. Now that I’m not willing to make such huge sacrifices due to wanting to continue my happiness here at home with my family I have to find my outlet…

The beauty of dance is that it doesn’t necessarily need an audience, it doesn’t need a stage, you don’t have to be paid or pay to do it, it just is. So wish me luck… I’m heading back into the studio to discover me as a dancer again and see what I can do. It’s time to embrace the challenge of being a bit different then I once was. It’s time to embrace getting older and enjoy the battle to stay passionate about my first love without all the bells and whistles of being a Pussycat Doll. Embrace the freedom of being gifted with a talent with no real goal except for expression. If I’m honest – I’m not sure I know what that means yet. Dance always served a purpose for me. It was my escape from reality and a place to face my bottled up emotions, it was a talent I was paid to do, it was what won me competitions and got me noticed. What happens when you take all that away and unveil the art for art’s sake? It’s going to be one hell of a journey!

I joined Good Morning Britain this week to launch a #ToughMums obstacle course designed by Tough Mudder happening September 23rd in Winchester! I’ve always wanted to do a Tough Mudder! It’s crazy right? Running through mud, swimming through ice, swinging from ropes… But it’s the sort of challenge that makes an ordinary girl like me feel extraordinary! If you want to join check out the Good Morning Britain Website to register and start training today! We’ve only got 3 weeks to train for a 5 Kilometer course consisting of 8 challenges. It’s nice to think that I’ll have a chance to mingle with other Mums and build a camaraderie that’s needed to finish! No winners – just finishers! 😀